Surrogacy ban- a quest for finding good in it…

“After I went through a series of miscarriages, surrogacy was the option I considered as my last hope, but now it seems I am barking up the wrong tree,” says Anita, a homemaker who wants to go for surrogacy.

The surrogacy regulation bill 2016 which was passed on 24th August 2016 has brought about turmoil in the lives of surrogate mothers who has taken it professionally and also for those who had wished for a child through surrogacy.

According to the new law, commercial surrogacy has been completely banned, allowed only for altruistic purpose and that also  for only those married couples who are childless for 5 years with no adopted child. This is a big blow to homosexual couples, foreigners, and people wishing to be a single parent.

This has not  only curtailed the liberty of the people who wish to have child without being married but also of those surrogates who are in the field since many years and bank on it, for earning lakhs in one pregnancy.

Sushma Swaraj, while announcing the bill said that something which was earlier initiated as a need has now become a hobby. Celebrities already having two children are going for  a third through surrogacy.

Some activist who are against the surrogacy also claim that commercial surrogacy is against human rights. It is like renting your womb for some money. Though different people have different arguments, the surrogates for the protection of whom this bill has been passed have a different tale to narrate.  “What is wrong in this? The childless mother gets her baby and we get money for our livelihood .The money we get help us live a dignified life .If I would have been unhappy I would have not attempted it repeatedly “.says Reshma a surrogate mother.

Surrogacy is a benefit which is enjoyed by both;. The mother as well as the receiver of the child. But the surrogate mothers are more at risk and are often exploited. The agencies facilitating the surrogacy often cheats these poor surrogates giving only half the amount promised and many mothers often lose their life owing to lack of after delivery care.

Without considering the resentment shown by the people, this cannot be denied that surrogacy is, like misusing the power of being able to bear a child. A business of womb renting. Which is morally incorrect. After all earning money by selling kidneys is also the same as this and it is too a crime..

Surrogacy, a process which can help a couple enjoy the happiness of having a child should be used in its sacred manner only when it is most necessary , not in a way as it is done today. Thinking about the surrogates well being it is a commendable step taken by the government. But it is also a issue to look upon as to how well will it be taken by the surrogacy agencies the surrogates themselves.

ज़िन्दगी कैसी है पहेली हाय……

पलों को शब्दों की लकीरों से उकेरना है ज़िन्दगी,

यादों को तस्वीरीं में समेटना है ज़िन्दगी

रंग बहुत है इंद्रधनुष में

इन रंगों को खूबसूरती से इनमें रंगना है, ज़िन्दगी।

 

चाहतों की उम्मीदों में जीना है ज़िन्दगी

दिल के पन्नो को शब्दों में पिरोना है ज़िन्दगी

प्यार से खुली बाहों में सिमट जाती है दुनिया

उन्ही बाहों को ढूंढना है ज़िन्दगी।

 

समय है मौके हैं, अवसर है कई आसपास

उन्हें सही समय में पहचानना है ज़िन्दगी

और कोई तुम्हे समझे या न समझे

खुद को कायनात में साबित करना है ज़िन्दगी।

 

रोना है हँसना है समय के साथ बहना है

खुल के पूरे मन से ही तो जीना है, ज़िन्दगी!

The ‘Grey side’ of Fandom…

 

“Main aaj jo kuch bhi hoon apne fans ki wajah se hoon, agar wo nai to main kuch bhi nai” (Today whatever I am, I am because of my fans; without them I am nothing.). The recently released movie “Fan” has introduced us to some very dark and horrifying side of the fame and fan following, the celebrities in our country face. For some people who call themselves fans, the madness goes to an extent they themselves are not able to fathom. Throwing the celebrities in the zenith of their likeness and dropping them deep down mercilessly for a trivial mistake. The situation changes in a second.

People have done  some exceptional works creating masterpieces for their stars devoting their time and money. The famous painter M.F.Hussain was also a diehard fan of the Bollywood actress Madhuri dixit, portraying numerous looks of her  on a canvas.  He even once booked an entire theater for a Madhuri dixit’s movie.

Many crazy fan incidents has always been encountered by the celebrities and especially the film stars. ‘Vivah’ actress Amrita Rao received a wedding proposal by a fan after he loved her in the movie by sending her a embellished wedding card, the full history of his lineage and ancestors and introduction of his full family to win her heart for marriage.

Many a times cricketers do also encounter such madness in the form of their fan following.

Master blaster Sachin Tendulkar has an immense fan following. One of his fans Sudhir Kumar Chaudhary who is believed to be his greatest fan makes it a point to be present in each of his match irrespective of the place it is taking place in any corner of the world travelling thousands of km for a single day match. He can be well recognized as he is painted all over in the colors of tricolor. People spend fortunes for sending their favorite celebrities gifts and souvenirs.

But this is also a harsh reality that these loving fan fraternities does not step back even once, to throw brickbats at their fans if they do not approve of celebrities performances or personal deeds. The house of M.S. Dhoni in his hometown Ranchi was badly pelted by his fans, going to the extent of shouting slogans for him to die and burning effigies, when India lost a match against Bangladesh in 2013.

Similarly a slight misunderstandings on the part of the media and media reporting a statement not intended as seen overlooks a rage against these celebrities. Sometimes the personal comments about a social issue by these famous people are not taken well by the fans. A personal opinion of the super star Shah Rukh Khan on the rising intolerance in India saw a ban and boycott of his movie by the audiences, though both had no relation with each other. But yes after all everything concerning the celebrities is public for the fans.

For the layman celebrities are both a fascination and an escapist dream-both being more necessary in life than one may imagine. A person who once is able to win the hearts of the public enjoys immense love , affections and blessings of the public. Thousands of people flock in front of the house of Amitabh Bachchan every Sunday to just to see him once.

As much as this is the reality, it is also a truth that as soon as these celebrities are away from our eyes, they get away from the minds as well. One small mistake, one wrong statement and one flop movie brings them back to their own underground world, isolated and alienated. Until a celebrity acts as desired by the public he is a hero, otherwise another human  lost in the crowd, after a matter of time.

There is no regulator or remote control of the public’s feelings, at one point they are God for thousands of people and next moment nothing, unrecognizable. At one point they do experience a wave of love and life, but they should be ready for the dark hours too. Though disturbing it may be but so short lived is the grandeur of their fairy tale life.

 

 

एक चमक त्योहारों की

 

त्योहारों की एक अलग बात होती है, एक अलग चमक। एक हमारे त्यौहार ही तो होते है जो हमे अपने, और अपने परिवारों के होने का एहसास दिलाते है। कितना अद्भुत समय होता है जब कोई त्यौहार के आने पर पूरा परिवार अपनी व्यक्तिगत जीवन से एक दूसरे के लिए समय निकलता है और एकजुट हो पुरे प्यार और अपनेपन से खुशियां मनाता है।
अपनी पढ़ाई, नौकरी और जीवन के बाकी झंझटों से दूर वो परिवार के साथ बिताये कुछ घंटे पूरे साल भर के लिए काफी हो जाते है।बड़ों का एक्स्ट्रा प्यार , भाई बहनों संग खिंचा तानी , पारंपरिक परिधानों में तैयार होकर हमारी संस्कृति के नियमों को वो साल के कुछ दिन निभाना। इन सब की ख़ुशी ही अलग रहती है।

अब रक्षाबंधन के त्यौहार को ही देख लीजिए।हम चाहे कितने ही बड़े या स्वतंत्र हो जाये। अपनी अपनी ज़िन्दगी मैं कितने ही मशगूल हो जाए , पर इस दिन अपने भाई बहनों को याद करना नहीं भूलत। हाथ में बहन के द्वारा बांधी हुई राखी की शायद दूसरे दिन कोई मूल्य न रहे , पर जब राखी के दिन वो उसे हमारे हाथ में बांधती है तब एक बहन के होने का गर्व और ख़ुशी शायद ही किसी और आधिपत्य मे हो।

बहनो को भले ही वो तोफहो और पैसो की ज़रूरत न हो पर उनके रूप में मिलने वाला प्यार और अपनापन , दोनो के बीच में होने वाली छेड़छाड़ ही अमूल्य है।वो राखी का कार्यक्रम कुछ समय का ही होता है पर उसकी तयारी दोनों ही भाई बहन कई दिनों से करते है। हम आसपास न हो पर एक दूसरे को राखी और तोहफे भेज कर अपना प्यार भेज देते है । और यही है इस त्यौहार की खूबसुरती।

हो न हो इन सबका समावेश ही है जो हमारी नीरस और बुझी हुई ज़िन्दगी मैं एक नए रंग भरती है। ये त्यौहार ही हमे एक सुरक्षित, सुन्दर और अपने वातावरण में होने का एहसास दिलाती है।

My old phone

Found today my first mobile handset buried deep in my closet unattended for months. It was an old box structure with qwerty keypad where for typing ‘s’ one had to press a button 4 times…. And however hard did it fell, our breath did not stop on the fear of its breaking down.

 

When policeman did not taunted us saying that screengaurd will save your phone not u, buy a helmet instead.

When computers, alarm clocks,diary, etc were useful things for us.. When the world had not been caged by smartphones prisons and their normal handsets did not had the whole world into them to look upon 24*7.

When watsapp n Instagram had not peeked into our lives, there was a sense of belongingness and cozyness in the messages sent to people.

A forwarded message on WhatsApp seems a forced affair , but I am talking of the time when personal message comprising of some sweet words planted a smile on our face.
I got my old mobile stacked with all the old messages, n particularly from ppl I hav lost touch with since infinity.Those sweet messages still remind of the lovely bond n the lovely days lived…
I am talking of time when humans had not surrendered before technology n mobiles were for staying in touch with your ppl.

A Women in making..

A Women is a full circle in itself, with a power to create, nurture and transform.

Women…. A beautiful creature of the almighty.

Women, a being in making….in  a process, a struggle  which begins from its coming into the universe before it emerges out of its mothers womb. A process in making to convince the world to let it live, to see the world.

In its making, the moment it sees the light of the world, face of the universe. A women is in making when it suffers the neglected eyes of the other sex, eyes that wished she had died.

Its the making of her self esteem, and her courage  when she fights with the world to get a chance to breath, a chance to live the way she wants, and a chance to get as much respect and love; the men of the house gets.

A women is in a making when she dodges the prying eyes of strangers while she wishes to live the life to the fullest, when a kid in her comes out to dance in rain and walk with the wind.

Its the making of her limits and realm. a realm of her restricted area of dominance, an area of her sky beyond which her wings can’t fly.

A women is in making when she is showered with, or rather imposed with thousands of rules and instructions when  she need to step out.

A women is in making, a making of her conscience and understanding of her self, her body and the troubles it gives; when she transforms into a different being for some time of the age,of every month precursor of her evolution.

Its her making stage, when she cannot act herself, cannot wear herself and cannot live herself, lest those four people of the society would make stories. its the making of her cocoon in which she hides herself.

The cocoon which breaks when her savior becomes her devourer  and its her making when she realizes every breath of her life is a struggle , a fight to live defeating the demons of the world.

its her making, when she has to step down from the ladder of her dream, cause he has forgotten the identity of herself, the identity of her being her a woman. to banish the coming success, and recognition, and worth , when she is prepared to kill her self to become someones else.

Its a making of a women when she dares to hand over her life to someone else, in a new environment and between new people. A making of her confidence, courage and self respect. A making of her, looking at the world with a different perspective.

Its her making, making of her mortal body and spiritual soul, when she surrenders herself to steer ahead the evolution of the world, and endures the agony and pain which gives her the sweet happiness, to bring a life into the world.

A women is a being in making, a making of balance, a making of life, a making of existence and making of survival on this earth.

A women, unimaginable force of strength, courage and patience, a light of knowledge and hope and an inspiration to live

a women is God’s being, sent upon the earth to conquer the unimaginable  world..

 

 

 

 

 

 

Count your blessings… be Thankful!!

This is a small story I wrote for small children ..it says..

BE THANKFUL

“Count your blessings, and be grateful”, Dhruv read aloud the poster as their car stopped at the signal.”Mumma what does it mean?”
“It means being happy for whatever you have, there are many who don’t have even that.” her mother said. ‘ hmm’ was only reply she got. He had asked for a new toy the day before which she had declined saying that he should be satisfied with whatever toys he had.So he felt that his mother was trying to console him saying this.

“OK we will play a game, we are going on a holiday, so whatever you want by looking around write it in your notebook.When we come back ,I will give you all.” his mother suggested.

Dhruv was overjoyed on hearing this.

On their way Dhruv saw a fast food centre. “Mom I want to eat pizza n burger”, he demanded. “Note it down,” she replied.

As they went ahead he saw a poor girl eating a bread piece someone bad dropped by. “Mom why is that girl eating that dried bread, she does not have jam also”Dhruv asked. “she does not have food beta, that’s why” came the reply.
“Not even the boring sabji n chapati you give me every day?” He asked amused with his innocent face.
“No dear sometimes they sleep without eating anything.” she replied .

They halted for the lunch at a local roadside dhaba . They saw the dhaba owner beating a small boy brutally because he had broken a cup. Initially Dhruv got scared but still asked his mother the reason for such a scene.

He works here dear. He has done some mistake n so is being punished”.

“But mom this is the school time why is he here?” Again came the question
“Because he does not study Dhruv . He does not have money to go to school as they have to earn money for their family.”

“I will also have to do this mom?” said Dhruv with a glum face.

“No dear we are here for you to feed you and care for you.” now a worried Mom said.
.
“Acha, show me what all you want”.
Dhruv immediately took out a pencil to cross his wish list

“I already have everything mommy “Thanku for everything “Dhruv replied with tears in his eyes.

Moral: We have many things, which hundreds of people like us do not have. We should always be happy with whatever we have and should count our blessings.