Marriage Expenses- A flush of Money!!

A girl close to my house was married off in a hurry to a NRI because he was ready to bear all the marriage expenses. The girl did not like the guy, she said he was suspicious but she was reprimanded, having said that marriage is not a play. They would never be able to marry her with so much pomp n show as in this case. Just because they were relieved of the heavy marriage expenses the girl was given to into wrong hands. Today the girl’s family is fighting a divorce case against the boy as he tried to use her for illegal and wrong business abroad.

The story here is not about a failed marriage or man’s cruelty, but about the fear of marriage and its expenses, and often marrying their girl child. It is said that the biggest donation in a father’s life is ‘kanya Dan’ (to marry off her daughter). It is also said that marrying a girl child is having completed a big responsibility. Though it is about finding a right home but undoubtedly it is also about passing of a big financial obligation.

A marriage in today’s date is a perfect example of showcasing wealth and status symbol. I often compare it with the procession a king, after being crowned as king took around the  kingdom to show its wealth.

This is what marriages are today. More of a show-off than love.

The government of Jammu and Kashmir has come out with a excellent rule to curb the extravagant spending of expenses in the marriages.  Putting a stop to the useless wastage of money in the marriages taking place in its state. And this is what, is of utmost necessity in whole Indian subcontinent. The commendable part is, that the officials have not waited for the central bill to be passed to implement such law in the state beforehand.

Talking about the huge wedding ceremonies of the big Indian fat weddings, a marriage is normally a 3-4 days affair in Hindu culture. Originally destined to be a close affair of preparing the bride for a new journey it has turned into a extravagant spending and show of status .Variety of rituals among hundreds of guests with crores of expense find their way into the marriage affair as a very normal scenario.  Not forgetting the extravagant decoration, innumerable food items and gifts for the guests. There is no limit to a marriage expense. The rich have no problems because according to them “shadi ek hi bar hoti hai” and they should spend whatever they can. But the middle class, the (majority) in a society like India where maintaining a status in the society is more important than the life itself face the gravest problem. They are the one who are under immense social pressure to show them as wealthy and eligible to be a part of the society.

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The proposed bill ‘Marriages (Compulsory Registration and Prevention of Wasteful Expenditure )’ which is supposed to be passed in Lok Sabha aims at curbing lavish expenses and instead solemnizing the wedding .

Undoubtedly this bill will come out as a relief to a large no. of families if implemented properly. But this is INDIA. There is a presence of a loophole everywhere.

 The spender will have to put a limit to the number of guest as fixed by the authorities and a person spending more than 5 lakhs rupees on marriage will have to declare the amount and contribute 10% of it to welfare fund of government for marriage of unprivileged girls. The problem is it’s no big deal.

This will be very convenient to all those family who do not think twice before a lavish wedding.

There will be no use of the bill if it actually happens like this.

Though a large class of people who would not be affected by the bill but The introduction of the bill still gives a silver lining that   people in a tax evading county will be happier to save their pockets than giving anything to govt. It is expected that the bill would also reduce the status display and the tendency of ‘showing ‘off the wealth.

Now it will be interesting to see if this 6th bill is passed or it is also scrapped off like the previous 5 bills in 20 years for curbing the marriage expenses. Fingers Crossed!!

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Why!!!!

A thought popped up in my mind today,
I think I’ll share it with you
Why the sky above is not so blue
And the trees have reduced to few

Why the birds those came to my sill every morning
have seem to lost their way
its only the smoke climbing the air I see
When I squint my eyes at the start of the day.

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Why the kids are sad, plunging deep into the house
Nodding their heads in a big nay
“We are not going out admist the puddle and sewage
We want a park to play,” they say.

Why the mornings are gloomy, the night’s dampness prevail
How those days were different to live
When the flowers in the garden kissed in falling sunrays.

why the world is not as it used to be
Butterflys and parrots are lost, they say
Why I cannot spend my evenings on the lake as I did
A skyscapper has taken its place
I heard as both can not together fay.

I had once heard, an old man remark in its abbey
Time is not always the same, nov is not like may
It changes with the wind, he had said.
you may wish it to stop, but it is not meant to stay.

These thought still bob in my mind
However hard I try to shoo it away
Then , defeated I stop wondering
Accepting, now it is meant to be this way.

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कौन हो तुम?

ख्यालों के झोखें अक्सर आया जाया करते है

मेरे दिल में , ये पूछने की आखिर तुम कौन हो.

रूबरू हो कर भी तुमसे कुछ कह न पाती हूँ

क्यों मैं तुम्हारे  सामने मौन हूँ?

दिल की बातें होठों तक आकार ठिठक जाती है

ठहर कर दिल से पूछ लेती है, आखिर तुम मेरे कौन हो?

उम्मीदों से बंधे पाँव दौड़ के पहुच जाते है द्वार तक

पर कदम देहलीज़ पे पड़ने से पहले पूछ लेते जी तुम मेरे कौन हो?

 

तुम्हारे ज़िक्र पर जुगनू की तरह  चमकती मेरी आँखें

शर्माता हुआ चेहरा, अजीब सी बेचैनी

मुझे झंझोर के पूछती है, की बोलो की तुम मेरे कौन हो.

 

आज भी तुम्हारी याद, मुस्कुराहटों की बहार ला देती है,

और मैं सिर्फ दिल से इतना ही पूछ पाती हूँ की तुम मेरे कौन हो?

I will be there

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Whenever you feel, you are missing me,

Just close your eyes and I’ll be there

 

Whenever you feel, you love me

Just pull me close and leave no air

 

Whenever you feel, I am adorable,

Call me up to say, you care

 

Whenever you feel, I am not what you see

Just look into my eyes and you will see a soul bare

 

Whenever you feel I don’t love you anymore

Just pass an order and I’ll do as you declare

 

Whenever you feel, you are lucky to have me

Just know I feel the same, coz you are a gem so rare

 

Whenever you feel, you need some1 to talk

Just frame your words and you’ll have all my ears.

 

Whenever you feel scared by the outside world,

You are here secured and safe, I am always here, just be aware

 

Whenever you feel alone in this huge world

Just walk with me, and we will be the loveliest pair

 

RISE ABOVE

There are moments when we feel emotionally low, start doubting our-self, our efforts. We feel that whatever we are doing , may be its not worth, and it it is, it is not giving us results. Life of others seems better and greener to us. But we forget that grass is always greener the other side. Patience and hard work is something which help us climb the ladder of success.

This is a short poem depicting these things. A small note of motivation and encouragement.

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“Just shun all the apprehensions,

You have a long way to go.

Fear is the loser’s baby

Courage is what helps you to grow.

 

The face of life has many lines on its floor

You cannot wipe everything you wish

Happiness and sadness are part of it

Required to make perfect dough.

 

Stop judging yourself, it’s time to sow

You will get the result when you least expect it

A’ yes’ is not always good

And bad does not always follows a ‘no’.

 

Anticipate the future with open arms

You have faced the heat, now let it snow

Present is precious, future is magical

Work hard, and let the world know

 

Life is beautiful if you wish to see it that way

These are happiness and blessings laid up in a row.

You live life completely only when

You learn to maneuver between the high and the low. ”  

Who are you to me?

You are asking me, what are you to me. Like Seriously? . You want a expressive answer I guess..

In the world of struggling days, you are my peaceful night.

In the world insomniac, you are my sound sleep

In the world of restlessness,you are my music.

In the world of maths problems, you are my calculator.

In the world of heartbreaks, you are my sweet crush.

In the world of tasteless veggies, you are my chocolate.

In the world of accusations, you are my pride.

In the world of failures, you are my prize.

And

In the world of every moment of death, you are my life

ख्वाइशें

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दिल की खिड़कियों से झांकती ख्वाइशें, ज़माने की हकीकत से रुबरू होते ही सहम जाती है।
आशा की निगाहों से आसमान को देखकर कुछ आज़ादी की चाह कर जाती है।
उन्हें पुरे होने का ख्याल जब सताता है,
दिमाग का रास्ता ढूंढने निकल जाती है।
और जब दिमाग ही उनके मुंह पे अपना द्वार बंद कर दे
वो वही टूट कर बिखर जाती है।

कहानी यही ख़तम नहीं होती।

उन खिड़कियों की चौखटों को तोड़कर जाने की चाह लिए यही ख्वाइशें एक नयी राह पर चल जाती है।
एक नन्हे बच्चे की हट लिए, दिल की लाचारी का सबब बन जाती है।
फिर अपनी बात मनवाने दिल और दिमाग में लड़ाई करा जाती है।
आखिर उसे अपनी मंज़िल तक जो पहुचना होता है।

अगर उस संघर्ष में हार गयी तो, मुस्कान के साथ वही घुट कर मर जाती हैं।
और अगर जीत गयी तो, अपने पर फैलाये मंज़िल की ओर उड़ जाती है।

दिल की खिड़कियों से झांकती ये ख्वाइशें ज़िन्दगी में क्या क्या कर जाती है।

A havoc called Demonetization…

The mastermind behind the demonetization has possibly given the precise quote in the present havoc situation, after our PM declared the demonetization. “He has done this operation without the anesthesia”. he had said. The situation in the county today is no less than an emergency, with the only difference being that in an actual emergency the rich are able to save their asses and the poor, relying on government support are often drowned. Whereas in today’s situation the rich are the most distressed, depressed and worried class of people. Off course the other people are too facing difficulties, but they are able to take an un corrupted sleep. For them the worry of exchange and withdrawal is present, but at least are saved from the tension of ‘how to turn black into white without being identified’.

Demonetization is a huge step which has almost paralyzed the whole economy. People are leaving all their chores to stand for hours in line to withdraw their own money and that too only 2000 at a time. What great difference would it make? Bank employees are working like mules to control and help the crowd brimming at the banks gates, among which half of them are sent back because there is shortage of cash. The rage of people are growing when news of elderly dying at the queue surface the newspapers. Yes the country is supporting the PM in his decision of demonetization, but if it’s wise or not, this will only be evident in coming months.

 

Today the PM is being criticized for troubling the poor and slowing the business. The GDP is estimated to plunge down due to   speed braker the business has faced. But the silver lining is the  creative minds of people who are thinking business in this grave situation too. Like the innovative startup which has come up in Delhi offering people to hire someone to stand in queue on behalf of them by ‘ Book your chotu’; an app.A  surprising idea.

Where there are news surfacing the media of complete disapproval and abuses hurled by the people of small towns where complete reliance is on cash n not plastic money, PM is also being praised of taking such a bold step to curb corruption .  Waiting for the results of which Modi had anticipated to bring out such announcement is the only way left. But it would be interesting to see if the citizens stand by him till the end going by the problems being faced by them.

Demonetization or ‘Monsterization’ ?…

I had just stepped out of the ATM when the news app on my phone flashed,  informing me that all the shining notes I had reluctantly withdrawn( it pains a lot to withdraw money, more when you have to give it to someone else as it is) would turn useless from the midnight. Yes, u guessed it right, it was 8th Nov and the time was precisely 8.05 pm. I had lots of bills to be paid and it took me a while to fathom the unfortunate news that has just brought my sleeping phone into life with all the useless trolls, jokes and GIF flooding the watsapp chats. To confirm that it’s not a stupid joke, I switched on the TV and yes our dear PM’S voice resonated in my ears which said 500 and 1000 notes would not be a legal tender any more. Looking at my phone irritated me even more when I saw my gallery brimming again with photos, which I had recently  cleaned after the Diwali. The next day went inquiring for the procedure of cash exchange after I had managed to vacuum out the old 500 notes which were secured in the envelopes I had received earlier. Firstly it took me 2 days to understand its terminology as being ‘demonetization’ and  ‘  नोटबंदी’  and further two weeks as how would it bring and stop black money back. The system of vacuuming cash hidden in the ‘secret chambers’ of the rich was something I was not able to digest. I mean, let’s see. No comments!!

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Before the system of inking our fingers came I had already exchanged half of my reserves, but the other half hung in midway, as the officials, with a grave face refused to exchange anything more if we had already done once. And depositing it  and then withdrawing the same  seemed scary to me, as standing in the long queue lined up before hardly working ATM’S shuddered me inside out. But today, when I decided to pay the banks in my area a brief visit, I was confirmed that I have to face my fears now, as  exchanging cash  is disallowed. The Hrithik Roshan add started playing in my mind “Darr ke aage jeet hai’ and finally I am standing before  the ATM queue looking at the urgency smeared on everyone’s face. As I may stop shopping or treating myself with ice cream for some time, but the meals  will not wait for the Modiji’s  plan to take its form. The tiffinwale bhaiya has asked for money and I need to finally face the line now. Never have I felt so bad on having 500 notes in my purse.

Finally on a serious note, I wish other people of the country are not at the same flight of stairs as I am. God bless…

 

खुद से मिल आउ कभी

बरसों से ख्वाइश है, खुद से मिल आऊ कभी
दुनिया की तो सुनती ही रहती हूं
दौड़ के चल दूं दिल की ओर
वह आवाज़ लगाये तभी

आशा की निगाहों से ढूंढती हूं मंज़िल को
क्या पता उससे पूंछू तो
वह ही बता दे उन्हें पाने के रास्ते सभी

चाहता है हमेशा से कुछ कहना वो
पर आवाज़ रहती है उसकी कुछ दबी दबी
सोचती हूँ थोड़ा सुन लू उसकी भी
अब गुफ़्तुगू कर ही आऊ उससे भी

बंद कमरे की चारदीवारी में
कुछ घुट सा जाता है मन
तोड़ के बढ़ियों को, छोड़ के बंदिशों को
खुल के जी आऊ कुछ पल मैं भी।

कुछ परेशानियां, कुछ ज़िम्मेदारियाँ हमेशा ही रहेंगी ज़िन्दगी में,
एक पल को उन्हें भूल कर
ज़िन्दगी के तोहफे को चूम आऊ कभी।

कल तो था, और कल तो हमेशा ही आएगा,
जो आज है उसे पहचान कर, मुस्कुराऊँ अभी

बरसों से ख्वाइश है
खुद से मिल आऊ कभी
दुनिया की तो सुनती ही रहती हूं
दिल की आवाज़ भी सुन आऊ अभी।

Your own time Zone..

Are you worried that at this age you are still not successful? You have not yet cleared your exams after so many attempts. Or you are 28 and still not married? Do you get stressed to see your peers in  better position than you. If your answers are yes, then you are ignoring your time zone and yes your true happiness too.

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Many a times, we gets anxious and worried to see others climbing the stairs of success n happiness before us, and that anxiety doubles if the person is younger or less experienced from us. But we forget the fact that there is a definite time for everything in our lives, and before that no one gets anything.

A wise thought explains this perfectly :-

“God has planned happiness for each one of us at the right time in our life. The only thing is that, he doesn’t share his calendar with us. So just enjoy the surprises”.

Shahid kapoor once said in his interview “Things come to you, when they are meant to come to you.”

Seems very superficial na? Let us understand this with a story I once read.

A dog and an elephant became pregnant at the same time. In three months the dog gave birth to 6 puppies. Another six months passed and the dog gave birth to another dozen of them. The elephant was still pregnant. At the end of eighteenth month, the dog approached the elephant and mocked him “we started together. I’m a proud mother of a dozen of grown up dogs today and you are still  at  the same place. What’s happening?”

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The elephant smiled and replied “it will take two years for my baby to be born. But when it does, and when it will step out, the earth will feel it. When it will walk the human will stop to look at it in admiration.  When it will grow up, it will be visible from meters away..I am carrying a baby elephant. Which is mighty and whose presence matters. Can you say these things about your puppies?

The dog was dumbstruck and went away.

This happens with our lives as well. We get anxious and agitated with the things  our peers get, lamenting that we are not the receiver of things as them. But we forget that may be which is taking time will be much better than others. We need to wait patiently for what we deserve, which we  will get but at the right time .

We should not loose faith when we see others receive answer to their prayers. Everything is best when it comes at a right time.

Again I would quote something told by Shahid Kapoor ( I m not his fan by the way) . He said ” everyone gets hit by a humongous wave in his life and career which changes it for the better. It is better that it hits us slightly later because if it hits us early and we are not experienced enough , it will take us in.

clocks.jpg.Do just relax and let the universe do its work on the right time

All the best!

 

The Mornings….

I open my eyes to new mornings,

With hopes and faith renew.

I take in the fresh air with confidence,

With more smiles and doubts few.

The world is good and the world is bad,

There are different shades in every soul.

The darker the night the brighter are the days,

And the more beautiful are the dew.

 

I often sit back and ponder upon my life,

Where is my light , what is my goal.

Then, I have a long way to go I feel,

Fulfilling  lots of responsibilities and role.

The dreams come true for those who dare

To take risks and strive for their stage,

Life is easy , if you believe in yourself, else a horrible maze.

Lets walk with confidence on the path we go,

Sharing love and all the knowledge , we know..

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The Book(ie) Story

Strolling along the footpath one evening, I came across a man, who had hundreds of books spread before him ,amusingly a girl like me who is a born bookworm could not resist to take a look at them. now you may wonder why would I only look at it and not buy some, if I declare myself as someone who likes to read, but here I would mention that I had wandered out of my small room to get some fresh air and may be buy some fruits if I could find any. And to mention this I want to say that I hardly had 100 RS which I didn’t believe could fetch me any good book. So after satisfying my eyes and making myself yearn to have one of those I came back with a promise that I will surely come back with a heavy pocket to buy some of those.
Scrabbling through my closet I luckily found the envelope which my brother had handed me on this rakhi ,which I had hid, to buy something special later. Realizing that that special is definitely this. With a broad smile I took a 500 note from it fumbling to myself that it would certainly fetch me 2-3 books that would keep me alive at least for a week.
I didn’t know that a surprise was waiting for me. As I stepped on the same footpath again, my twinkling eyes spotted a board kept in a obscure corner beside the book seller with 20/- each sign on it.
Not able to believe n resist my curiosity( my enormous happiness to be precise) I confirmed the price from the man to which he replied ” koni pan ghiya, fakt 20 rupye”. ( pick up any one, it’s all for only 20 RS.)  If I was not standing on a busy footpath I would have danced for a whole minute on his answer. Grabbing as many as I thought would be of my liking I came back with the happiest feeling since many days. it was like i had grabbed upon a fortune that too so cheap.
N here I am, keeping each book close to my face , smelling the scent of an old book that reminds me of the smell we used to have in our school libraries which was always brimming with books new and as old as a decade. the smell which was more soothing than a rose and the feeling of so many ‘Unread’ is incomparable….

P.s. the vendor has a bookstore which he wishes to close and so it was a sort of mega sale comprising of some decade old books. I bought mostly the old books of which the pages had faded away with time.

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Surrogacy ban- a quest for finding good in it…

“After I went through a series of miscarriages, surrogacy was the option I considered as my last hope, but now it seems I am barking up the wrong tree,” says Anita, a homemaker who wants to go for surrogacy.

The surrogacy regulation bill 2016 which was passed on 24th August 2016 has brought about turmoil in the lives of surrogate mothers who has taken it professionally and also for those who had wished for a child through surrogacy.

According to the new law, commercial surrogacy has been completely banned, allowed only for altruistic purpose and that also  for only those married couples who are childless for 5 years with no adopted child. This is a big blow to homosexual couples, foreigners, and people wishing to be a single parent.

This has not  only curtailed the liberty of the people who wish to have child without being married but also of those surrogates who are in the field since many years and bank on it, for earning lakhs in one pregnancy.

Sushma Swaraj, while announcing the bill said that something which was earlier initiated as a need has now become a hobby. Celebrities already having two children are going for  a third through surrogacy.

Some activist who are against the surrogacy also claim that commercial surrogacy is against human rights. It is like renting your womb for some money. Though different people have different arguments, the surrogates for the protection of whom this bill has been passed have a different tale to narrate.  “What is wrong in this? The childless mother gets her baby and we get money for our livelihood .The money we get help us live a dignified life .If I would have been unhappy I would have not attempted it repeatedly “.says Reshma a surrogate mother.

Surrogacy is a benefit which is enjoyed by both;. The mother as well as the receiver of the child. But the surrogate mothers are more at risk and are often exploited. The agencies facilitating the surrogacy often cheats these poor surrogates giving only half the amount promised and many mothers often lose their life owing to lack of after delivery care.

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Without considering the resentment shown by the people, this cannot be denied that surrogacy is, like misusing the power of being able to bear a child. A business of womb renting. Which is morally incorrect. After all earning money by selling kidneys is also the same as this and it is too a crime..

Surrogacy, a process which can help a couple enjoy the happiness of having a child should be used in its sacred manner only when it is most necessary , not in a way as it is done today. Thinking about the surrogates well being it is a commendable step taken by the government. But it is also a issue to look upon as to how well will it be taken by the surrogacy agencies the surrogates themselves.

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